Roommates

This week has been a bipolar experience in terms of roommates. I've surpassed tumbling points, friendly neutrality and hopeful imagery. Upon experiencing these different emotions, I realized something. Actually, Deric realized something, not me. I am definitely leaching the idea off of him.

Are people to be trusted? Deric and I are two different people. For me, people who I first meet start very well with me. As a result, when others do wrong, I get disappointed. I see people in very good light and as a result, I trust easily and get hurt easily too. Deric is the exact opposite. Sometimes, I think his way of thinking is better. It is good to NOT trust everyone first. People should be gaining their trust instead of abusing it. Here is the thing: while you may know your roommates (this excludes friends who move in with you), you don't actually know them. You live in a house with total strangers. Doesn't that astonish you?

Last year (2007-08), I had a horrible experience with ALL 4 of my roommates. They were either unclean, unfriendly or disrespectful. Since everyone starts off friendly with me, I have the habit of bottling the things that bug me until I can no longer stand it. While you may think this is wrong, the truth is people prefer it. Imagine if I had called on EVERYTHING. There is no way of winning when you have to run the damn place. Whether it is not looking at me while I'm talking or leaving your dishes in the sink for days until a certain stench overtakes the kitchen or trying to take advantage of me, I believe I tolerate it all. Now that I look back, there are only a few roommates - if that - that have helped me sweep the floor or clean the counter or were nice and realized that I require the same respect as anyone else. I should not be made out to be "the landlady" because I am first of all a student, but I am also a daughter and if I find a potential flaw of which it will affect the house financially and thus me and my family, then yes, I will choose my family which is something I am sure many people would do. I am not in the wrong just because I have said what is true and what people are afraid to say. If I have ex-communicated you or did not renew your lease, then there was a good reason in doing so. Just as I would not be offended if someone left, others should not take offense to me not renewing the lease. It does not work one-way.

Living with someone is very personal. Everything someone does is closely monitered and recognized by everyone else in the house. They probably know it more than the problem-tenant him/herself. If there is a personality clash or an inability to pay rent, then it comes with baggage. Stress about the house is the last thing that should be on my mind, or Deric's mind, or my family's mind because everyone has their own problems. Whether it may be school, work, children, other houses, other problems, I hope all my past tenants recognize that it was all for good reason. All I can say is that things would have ended up a lot worse had we continued. For example, I would not have been able to get Pieroguie if the dogs stayed. This does not mean I hated their guts. I can think of a few roommates that I would love to have as friends, but living together just didn't work out. It has to be recipricocated and while I may seem fine with some things, I am a drama enthusiast. I have had professional training in pretending and acting. I am not fake, I am polite. I am not a bitch, I am truthful. I don't hate them, I just need to live with someone else, anyone else.

If you're reading this and are Justin, Samantha, Miles, Mike, Kathryn, Samantha or Elena, just know that I like all of you and that is why I personally chose each and every one of you. I hope I do get to see some of you in the future. I know I see Samantha H sometimes and we say "hi!". I do not feel awkward because I feel it was best. This year, I liked all my roommates very much. Good luck and I hope everything works well.

Those who have yet to come, I am very excited. I have yet to find people that I don't offend or cause awkward, timeless conversations with. I am in the search to find people like me - a little provocatity and obscenity raised with an overkill of politeness and a hatred, yet full of ability, for politcal correctness. I'd like to meet people that were raised the same as me and thus, have the same values as me. Also, people who are openminded and are not afraid to speak their mind. I need to meet people that astonish me with their gaming trivia and impress me with random subjects. I want to love and not just tolerate. It is so important for me to experience someone with a positive attitude, but also is understanding and not superficial. Is this so much to ask?

Probably, but I think I found some. I'm super excited.