as flipping through the channel today when I came across a movie that I am pretty sure changed how I think. The thing is, I've always had an unhealthy obsession about weight. It wasn't that I was scared of being overweight, but I wanted to escape the labels that were being put on me as a child. I was always the fat one. I didn't know how to control how I ate and the worst part of it all is that I have taken weight as an identity and labelled myself with it. Instead of trying to escape, I endorsed myself in it. I am not going to lie. I have prejudice against heavier people and this is for a variety of reasons.1. The outside is a reflection of the inside. That's why permabitches are highmaintanence and depressed people are sloppy. Of course, this isn't whole-heartedly the truth, and even I don't believe it fully.
2. I've never been there on an extreme level, but I got a taste of it and I hated it. I decided to do something about it. Of course, what I did was silly and just as bad. I tell you, as tempting as annorexia may be, it was doing more damage than none.
3. Self-induced. Lack of self-control? Unwillingness to excersize?
Here is the thing though. This movie changed a lot of how I thought. I know that everyone has a story. It's incredible how often I can forget that. It isn't that I hate bigger people. I just hate the labels and the taunts and the person that people do not see over the weight. I experienced it and I never want to go back.
This movie made me re-evaluate the things I say. It's right. What god-given right do I have to pass these types of judgements on people?
I'm sorry.
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