Happy New Year!

=]

Table for One

Today I attended a spectacular play. It was intended to give the audience an emotional rollercoaster, and it did! I cried, laughed, was afraid and the list goes on. It is certainly one of the most intriquing plays I have ever seen. I would not mind seeing it again tomorrow. It is called Cursed. 

The only thing not spectacular about my night was the fact that my bf got sick. It worried me and to be honest, it was very selfish of me to go to the play. I should have been taking care of him. I should have been making him things that would help him feel better, but I didn't. I went to the play and I went by myself.

Going to the play by myself was an experience I do not want to remember. Not only is there no one to converse with, but being surrounded by countless of groups of people is enough to make a person nervous. I stood in line alone. I sat alone. I waited until 8PM for the play to start by myself. I was beside myself while I was laughing, crying and was afraid. By the end, the only people I could reflect the play experience with was myself and it is this point that makes me feel the most lonely.

This is not a rant about my bf being sick, but rather an eye-opener for those who regularly go to plays by themselves. This rant refers to those who ask for "table for one" in a restaurant. I always wanted to know what it was like to go to the theatre by myself, but i can tell you... never again.

Tonight, I feel lonely. I can't imagine those who live alone. Suddenly, I have an immense appreciation for the "loners".

White

For the past year and a half, I have been dying to audition for a play. I am not a drama major, but it does not mean I have no interest. Everytime I try to audition, one thing or another holds me back. During my first semester, I did not think it was wise to audition seeing as I did not know the dynamics of the university yet. I tried to join various clubs to meet people, but never went out to the meetings. During my second semester, I did actually audition. It was for the Vagina Monologues and I really wanted extra credit for Drama class. I got into the production. Even though I had a very small part, I cherished it. It was the part of the 6-year old girl. We performed one night because it was for a fund-raisier. I was happy that I did something like that.  I did not try out for anything in the summer. The first semester of my second year, I did not audition, but I did an applied study where I went form school to school as a Storyteller. Now it is my second semester of second year.

I am very intimidated by the Drama students. I can pin-point a few students I am particularly scared of. Not only are they fantastic, but seeing them makes me not even want to try.

This last night, I auditioned for a play. I am very proud I did because it was an actual production. This would be my first one ever in university. The reason why I never attempted really was because I didn't think there was any room for an Asian character. It isn't offensive to me though because the majority of people auditioning were white people. I auditioned for a play called Arcadia by Tom Stoppard. It is set in England between 1809-1889 and 1989. The fact that it is set in England during the 1800s means those parts would be elimenated for me. 1989... I don't know. It is the director's take on it.

Now only is my ethnicity holding me back, but the fact that I have not been in an actually production in two years. Should I have waited so long? Should I not even pursue it?

My audition piece was "about a girl in love with a man". I told the director exactly that. He made a point of telling me many story lines fall under that, but with my eccentric ways, I notified him of the twist that I have not yet told him. It is about a girl in love with a man. If you analyze that correctly, a girl is any age under 18. A man is any age over 18. It is about a relationship between a 15 year old girl and a man who is her mother's age. Oh yes, and she got pregnant and he left her. 

My problem with choosing monologues is that my shock value for my pieces override my actual performance. 

I did this audition, along with my other Asian friend, to show the university that Asian girls don't just KAWAII it up and be bitches, but they can do daring things like audition for a white play and step out of their boundaries. I recognized so many of the names of the others who auditioned. I decided to do this audition the night before the audition itself. 

I think the director waas a little ataken when he saw my last name was Chan. My ethnicity was a major topic for discussion, but not in ways contributing to the play. I was asked to do accents such as British and Chinese. Typing it out here makes it seem racist, but it was different in the auditioning stage. 

The experience was the key point of why I did this audition. Because it is done and I didn't fail, I have to say that I loved it. I think that it is worth while to do it again even though it is a white play.

Teachers

This week is the start of school after holidays (Hanukkah if you are Juice and Christmas if you be t3h Christianz!). For those in high school, it means a continuation of a term, but for the post-secondary suckers, it means a new semester. 

I like the new semester for a variety of reasons.

1. You get to see, for the first time, who is in your class. It could hold your future best friend or closee-to-future worst enemy (I make those FAST!!). The icky Flutterfly feeling in your tummy FINALLY disappears. Yay!

2. The first class is the most repetitive. You can never go wrong. 

3. You can see how your life will be for the next four months.

4. There is no fourth reason.

I am taking a class with a teacher I have had before. Truth be told, she is difficult to listen to, look at and approach. 

Listen

I have but one word for her: expression. This is something she does not consider when using her voice. It not only drives me to suicidal thoughts, but would rather any other torture than this. She tends to attempt to make jokes which really are not bad. I am sure she is a good person.

Look

She really looks like a good person. I'm sure she has a husband, some kids and a nice house. She could very well help the poor, adopt a pet and  eat vegetables. She is not ugly, but she isn't hot either. The reason I say she is hard to look at is not for physical appearance, but the type of glare she tends to give when she looks at you (and she has AMAZING eye contact - it is as if she is looking at everyone at the same time... in their eyes!!). She looks down on students. Sure she is a doctor. Sure she is a hard marker. Sure she teaches the required classes. She has us by the balls.

Approach

With the monotoned way she talks and the look of death, it shouldn't be surprising that approaching her is difficult to do. Her thought is linear and she does not seem open to abstract thought. She is, however, quite intelligent though. She is the type to make a person a good writer technically, but emotionally suicidal. The last class I had with her, she nearly failed me because of my idea. I was supposed to write about friendship, but the idea of being friends with parents and having different types of friendship did not, apparently, meet her requirements.  She did not believe there could be friendship with parents and such. I would have very well appealed the mark had I been confident enough, but because of her condensending way of making me feel utterly stupid, I could not. 

Why am I taking this class then? I love the subject. I don't want to hinder my interests because of a hard marker. She is not discriminatory. She is linear in thinking. I want to learn and be better and if she can offer that to me, then I will set my risk of a GPA downfall to the side and do what I am passionate about. I understand this is definitely a Western point of view, but my nationality is Canadian even though I am Chinese Singaporean. Wish me luck.

PAP

Basically this: if you are a female, you should know what this is. It is terrible, but for me, it is beyond words. I am one of the few women who absolutely freaks out at this simple task. Not only do I scream, cry and not comply with the doctor, but I also shake, shiver and suffer. Today, I had a PAP smear. It is disgusting, but critical and must be done. Let me give you the downlow JUST IN CASE you do not know:

1. Knees to ceiling. Spread.

2. Relax. If it is hard to, you can prop yourself up using your elbows. 

3. In goes speculum.

4. Swab.

5. Exit speculum.

6. 2 fingers in.

7. Push, push, push.

8. Exit.

It sounds easy enough, but I can't even do step one. Step two was close to impossible and all the steps following... were just a blur of tears and fears. 

Now, I am sore as hell. I cannot sit properly. I cannot do anything. I just remember screaming. You may call me a pussy, and maybe I am, but all I know is that something is not right and I hope this does not last forever.

I THINK MY <3 JUST LAGGED!!

I got the shirt made. Oh... my... gosh. I love it sooo much. eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee hehehehehehe

I think my heart just LAGGED. My fav pick up line EVERRRR. I got this done at Apparel Ink which is an offshoot of American Apparel. I still love the Rocket, but this place is cheaper. The Rocket is amazing for it's quality, but because they charge $1 per letter/ picture, it can get pricey. At Apparel Ink, it is base charge $10 for anything. This is why I got the heart picture. Originally, I wanted the heart over my own hear, but I don't have wide enough shoulders for that! Oh well! I am so happy... and I didnt put in any exclamation points which i didnt think of until after the fact. Oh well. I lovez you, you shirt. YOU ARE SO 1337 FTW YOU HHEHEHEHEHEEEHEH

Epic video with n00b quality AKA Heather=producer, Corel=culprit

Here is the thing. YOU SHOULD NEVER USE COREL. It is an all right program until it has to be exported. It can't read worth poopoobrains. SERIOUSLY... it is terrible. You want proof? YOU GOT PROOF!! Epic video with n00b quality.

Could you eat Mike Shramm's box?

While in the can, I came across a very peculiar, yet intriquing discovery. While I was attempting to search for Murloc pick-up lines (which I never really found because I found this first), I saw something that just made up for the pain I was feeling while being on the toilet. At http://www.wowinsider.com/2008/12/21/murloc-bento-box-looks-strangely-tasty/, Mike Schramm posted a SUPER COOL bento box... WITH A MURLOC IN IT. Its so co0o0o0ol. Ta-da!! 

Could you eat a Murloc Bento Box?

Magic

Well, HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE. I realize today is the 2nd, but it is still '09! Yesterday, I was at Chinook Mall where I met someone whom I have not seen in quite a while. While on a pointless adventure around a mall full of shops we would never go into, we came across yet another long lost comrade of our very crappy high school. He was working at a kiosk of utter awesomeness (because it is way more worth it than The Rocket - though I love The Rocket to death). Accompanying him was his co-worker who was also a part-tme MAGICIAN/ILLUSIONIST. OMG tripped OUT OF MY MIND. He showed me numerous of tricks and WHOOEEOEEEOEEEE... I don't know. It was so addicting to watch. Remind me to never ever go to a magic show. I can't afford to be addicted to anything else now.